I know I'm not the first young female anthropological fieldworker to encounter this particular dilemma, but I can't remember reading anything written about it. Will do some web research when I get back to a country with decent Internet.
In the meantime, the dilemma: I've met a guy here who has (to put it bluntly) developed a crush on me. I've heard other Nepalis teasing him about it, so it doesn't seem to be just me imagining things or misreading cultural cues. He's not obnoxious - in fact, quite the opposite: he's very sweet and respectful, and I take his interest as a compliment. However, it's not mutual. Repeat: not mutual.
No big deal, right? Here's the problem, though: even though I'm not interested in him romantically, I am very interested in him as a person and an informant. He participates in various civil society projects that are related to my work, he has interesting political opinions, etc etc.
So, the question: how to navigate this situation without a) taking advantage of him by unfairly "leading him on" or b) compromising my own position as a new fieldworker trying to develop good working relationships? Of course, this is all much murkier because I'm still learning new things every day about the dynamics of gender relations here in Nepal.
I'll let you know what I figure out. Hopefully this will resolve itself gracefully; I am, after all, heading back to the US in just three weeks.
In the meantime, the dilemma: I've met a guy here who has (to put it bluntly) developed a crush on me. I've heard other Nepalis teasing him about it, so it doesn't seem to be just me imagining things or misreading cultural cues. He's not obnoxious - in fact, quite the opposite: he's very sweet and respectful, and I take his interest as a compliment. However, it's not mutual. Repeat: not mutual.
No big deal, right? Here's the problem, though: even though I'm not interested in him romantically, I am very interested in him as a person and an informant. He participates in various civil society projects that are related to my work, he has interesting political opinions, etc etc.
So, the question: how to navigate this situation without a) taking advantage of him by unfairly "leading him on" or b) compromising my own position as a new fieldworker trying to develop good working relationships? Of course, this is all much murkier because I'm still learning new things every day about the dynamics of gender relations here in Nepal.
I'll let you know what I figure out. Hopefully this will resolve itself gracefully; I am, after all, heading back to the US in just three weeks.
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